A simple enough start to the day was getting my two high school aged 'children' to their respective carpools. Carpools are an absolute must when you make the decision that your child will not attend school with those in the neighborhood. Carpools are also a very direct representation of people with completely different backgrounds and directions coming together to solve for a common need. Dropping my children off was quiet and uneventful. I reminded both of them to make the most of the opportunity before them, to be safe and do their best. There they went - off in completely different directions from me and each other (opposite sides of town, different schools, different sports after school ...) with the faith that we would be together again this evening for dinner. Eating together as a family is something that is extremely important to each of us in the family - if one is missing ... it just is not the same.
Following drop off, it was time for a quick stop at the gas station. Three things stood out as I pulled in and began the ritual of filling the tank.
- The first was the small economy car that pulled in next to me. I really did not think too much about it until the driver felt compelled to tell me that I was destroying the environment with my SUV (I drive a fairly new Ford Explorer). I like to stay to myself, so I did not offer a retort. In hindsight - maybe I should have offered to inform the inconsiderate savior of the environment for the reasons for driving such a vehicle. Simply, that my family participates in three different carpools and the most effective/efficient method for transporting my children, the other children in the carpool and their backpacks, gym bags, instruments and miscellaneous school projects to/from school is to have a vehicle that seats all the children and their gear in a safe manner. While I appreciate the owner of the SMART car in their efforts to save the world - their world is not mine. I guess, in hindsight it was better not to offer my opinion as the discussion could not possibly turn into a positive experience for either of us.
- Interesting enough, the same individual driving the gas sipping vehicle, had a little more to offer in their opinion of what I was doing wrong. You see, I support my children's schools by placing a school spirit magnet on the back of my car. Apparently, this is an advertisement that I am one of the rich people who don't pay enough taxes and shelters my children in private institutions. The comment was made - that to my ears sounded like '... you will get yours soon enough. You are going to have to start paying your fair share next month - then we will see how you treat the rest of us'. I don't know where this person thought it was their place to make such a comment - it was offensive, inaccurate but very telling about them and the world around us. My children attend private schools - not to separate them from society, but to insure they understand society. I would do everything in my power to provide them the opportunity to learn and experience the world so they can make a difference. The development of their faith and making it part of every decision they make is my job (as parent) and the schools they attend extend that development. I can only assume that when the individual noticed the private school magnets - they believed that 'private' schools were more expensive than public schools and therefore elitist.The truth is - private school does cost my wife and I more than public school does. However, tuition for my children is less than the state reports to spend on a per student basis - across the state. Yes, the state of Maryland reports that a per student expense of over $13,700 per year is what tax payers are hampered with for 'free public schools'. And yes, I still pay all my taxes in the state and DO NOT WANT A DISCOUNT FOR PRIVATE SCHOOL. I think not commenting to the individual on this topic was also the right thing to do - absolutely nothing positive could come from the exchange.
- The third item that stood out during this brief pit-stop is that there are again different prices for paying by cash and credit. While this used to be the way years ago - we (the citizenry) were incented to use credit for its convenience while reducing the work of the attendant. The argument was that automation was the way to reduce cost for all, so use your plastic and we can keep the price low. I know this for a fact, as I worked at the local gas station back in the 80's and both heard (from corporate) and shared (with the locals) the plan. I understand the reason for the different prices - the use of credit has never been free (especially to the seller), but I can't help but think that I was promised one thing only to be redirected to another later down the road.
After picking my youngest son up at the house, I proceeded to meet the third carpool of the day. No challenges during this leg of the trip - we all talked about upcoming exams, pop music and where the 8th grade students were looking to go to high school. I dropped the kids off - wished them well and proceeded to head to work. When not driving a carpool in the morning, I typically leave my house at 3:30 AM and the commute is wonderful. One, maybe two traffic lights and a smooth trip to the office. However, when dropping kids off and then taking a different route to work - the most popular route for many, many daily commuters in the Baltimore suburbs .... well, it takes a little longer. Much like my politics - I am fairly conservative in my driving habits (only speeding on occasion) and prefer to select and enter the lane that causes me to change the least. As I safely entered the highway, I found my cruising speed in the proper lane and embarked on the trip.
All was going fine on the way to work with limited backups along the way. However, when the road I was traveling on merged in to the Baltimore beltway more examples of society's ugliness appeared again. I was crawling along at 10 miles an hour, sitting in the same lane I had been in for several miles. The lane in question combines with the other lane to the right and creates a new lane on the beltway. As I was crawling along, I noticed that a car to the left of and behind me changed lanes (from the left of me to the right of me) quickly. I am very aware of my surroundings while driving but the jerkiness of the cars and trucks behind me as this person made their transition highlighted what was happening. A small SUV was cutting through traffic - without blinkers and without care as to what problems they created along the way. Make note - they did not hit anyone in the process.
As we continued moving along, I was maintaining pace with the car in front of me, allowing the lane to my right to continue to yield without disturbing the established flow. The individual in the small SUV decided they had a better approach to yielding and proceeded to attempt to 'push me' into the next lane over by trying to run up the bumper of the car I had allowed to yield in front of me. I did not move - I simply continued driving forward at the same pace. This was met with a very angry, middle aged women winding down her window and sharing her thoughts on the situation with me - most of which I can not repeat here as the language is not what I wish anyone to endure. She followed it up with the universal symbol of displeasure (the flip of the bird) and wound her window up. She then moved on to the shoulder of the road and slammed the accelerator. When she thought she had a good opportunity (approximately 3 cars ahead of me), she jerked the wheel to the left and cut off the line. Sitting high in my SUV, I saw what was happening and covered the brake before she actually jutted in to traffic. However, when the line of cars all started braking, the cascade went on from three cars in front of me until about 4 cars behind me. Unfortunately for the 4th car behind me - the 5th car wasn't aware of what was happening. At this point the accident happened. The offending vehicle never even saw what happened - they were on to the next lane change (to the left, pass three cars, then back to the right lane for 10 seconds then took the exit on the right).
Why do I bring any of this up? Quite simply - the world is spinning faster and faster. Individual opinions are the only thing that seem to matter to some people. SLOW DOWN. Take a look around. You really need to pay attention to what impact you are having on the world. Whether it be insulting someone when you have zero idea how your comments will impact their world or even how they arrived at that moment or causing an accident that you don't even realize happened. What you do matters. There is a line in a song that was featured in Disney's Pocohontas - " you cant' step in the same river twice ". From the time I heard the line in the song it has become part of my personal mantra - be careful what you do for you do not know how you will alter it. One persons improvement to a situation may become the demise of the situation to another person. We are all entitled to our own opinions and beliefs but when those opinions cross a line into changing others - we have overstepped our bounds.
