Wow! When did that happen?

I spent a couple of days with my son and his class at 'Outdoor School' - Camp Hashawa last week. I remember spending a week there ... many years ago. This time was different. I was the parent, the mature one, the chaperone - what a difference 20 years makes to your vision. I truly enjoyed spending the time with my son and his classmates but something happened on the trip that I have been quietly willing to happen. You know how it is when you can see something (potential) and you nudge it along (encouragement)? What do you do when it actually jumps up and hits you in the face?

I have to be honest that when the potential was reached in front of my eyes - I was truly blown away. What am I talking about? My oldest son has a knack for having others follow him. I first saw this on the baseball field - every kid would look to see what my son was doing. Then, they would try to emulate him. This followed on the soccer field - everyone on the team would take their lead from him. I gently nudged (encouraged) him to grasp the opportunity before him and become the leader. He resisted! In fact, he became even more quiet and reserved.
I have to admit that I try to push my children up to their comfort limit - sports, school, manners - you name it - I will push them up to the point that it gets in the way. So when my son drew back at being the team leader I stopped pushing. He really is a great kid/person and I just figured things would work themselves out. Perhaps I had misread his leadership qualities....

Back to Outdoor school. One of the sessions the kids worked on was teamwork. The kids would participate in a series of obstacles that required them to work together in order to complete a task. Now, 7th grade boys do not communicate all that well to begin with. You typically have one or two that 'know what to do' and they beat the others into submission. Whether they are correct in knowing what to do or not does not seem to matter - their way will be tried first. At one of the stations that very thing happened. One boy was set in his ways on how to get things done and he took the team down the wrong path. Not surprising as it had happened in two other stations previously. What happened next blew me away. As a parent - I was to observe and keep the kids on task. We were not to teach them or give them the answers - just watch and nudge.

After taking a few steps the wrong direction, my son stepped up and said 'Everybody stop'. They listened. Cool! But then he took control of the group and told each child what they needed to do to get the job done. Not in a bully way. He did it like the leader I knew he could be. He spoke calmly, quietly but authoritative that he saw the answer - had played it through in his mind and that if they did not act now, they would not get the job done. WOW!

I think I popped 2 buttons on my shirt as my chest swelled with pride. Not that he understood how to solve the problem - he does that routinely. He had asserted himself when it was needed. No prodding to do it. No rewards for doing it. He just did it.

BTW, after he did it he slid right back in to his normal spot. He does not like the attention of being the leader. He would rather sit one step behind (just like his old man) and just keep with the group. That being said, I saw the way the other boys looked at him. When he did it, and as they went on throughout their time. They looked up to him.

My son is a leader. I am so happy that I got to see it.